Thursday, January 15, 2009

boredum, frustration, hope, ambition

I feel I should write something. But I feel too restless to write out any of the really good ideas I have right now. I am getting antsy.

December and so far, january, has been really slow. I have been improving my portfolio though, but i haven't been improving my bank account or my resume much. And I am starting to get this kind of restless/helpless feeling that I want to do something but can't make it happen. I guess its always slow this time of year.

I have started toying with the idea of becoming obsessed with wanting to work overseas. I've heard Hong kong is nice. Or Tokyo. Or Milan.. or lots of other places. Once again, not something I can just snap my fingers and make happen.. but i'm looking into it.

I've been feeling stagnant. I guess part of me gets frustrated because the only things I can put effort into right now I can't see immediate results for. Like working out. And even if I was the most toned person in the world tommorrow, I'd still probably be frustrated that the world hadn't noticed. And the other part of me just can't understand why I'm not famous yet. :)

But.. I've been doing everything I can and keeping my eyes open. And I've got a few irons in the fire that I'm hoping will pan out soon. So theres a bit of hope in the back of my head but I don't count on anything that isn't happening right now. I think i might have something or another more interesting to write about than this soon. I hope.

3 comments:

Flaming Brian said...

Sounds like you may have a touch of Seasonal Affective Disorder. A simple thing you can try so as to start feeling better (it works for me, anyway) is to rearrange your furniture and add some new colors to your rooms. It will give you a fresh look for your place and the change in perspective might be just what you need to fight off the feeling of 'standing still'. As an added bonus: Moving a couch from one side of the room to the other is much cheaper than moving a couch to Hong Kong.

Flaming Brian said...

Oh, I almost forgot: your recent shoot with Anthony Chiang garnered some amazing results. Though I think you look better in a more relaxed setting, you pull off the 'hard' look very well. With a few more shoots like this, you'll be on top in no time.

elventryst said...

I'll be your sister in misery-- it's so hard to be in a new town, especially when one isn't finding work. Thanks for visiting my blog, btw. It's starting to feel like the only friend I have these days is the Graham Greene novel I'm reading. You know what's funny is that I have a BS in fashion design as well, which I am not using. BTW, you should definitely travel abroad. It's a hard experience, but absolutely worth it!