As I said before, I got some cool vintage glasses whilst hanging out with Dad the other day. Which ones do you like better?
(Ah the joys of taking pictures of yourself in the bathroom mirror!)
Monday, December 29, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
life and documenting it- a dilemma
As I said in one of my early blogs, I grew up always taking pictures with my siblings, esp. my oldest sister who was photography obsessed. My whole family has a different approach to taking pictures than most I think. The only person in my family who will shy away from having a picture taken is Mom, and she is almost comfortable with it too these days.
My oldest sister and i have a saying- "You know you had fun if you've got the pictures to prove it." And sometimes the best times we have are taking pictures. And long ago I scrawled a line in my little notebook and remembered it always- "..caught between life and documenting it." It seems sometimes we are more concerned with documenting the experience than experiencing it.
And why I am telling you this now will be aparent at the end of this post.
My dad picked me up at the airport when I got back from NY/NJ. A bit of backstory- I left Illinois in May, and hadn't seen him since then. He had come to Texas, to San Angelo, almost a month ago, to work with my uncle who lives there. Since San Angelo is pretty far from here, we still hadn't seen each other. He fell off of a little cliff down here and got hurt, and then couldn't leave until the doctor decided he didn't need to get the cut in his throat worked on. So then he fianally got to head towards home as I was coming back. He told my mom he didn't recognize me in the airport- I was still in photoshoot hair and makeup.
He was here for a night, and then a day, and then left the next morning. We went out to Mckinney, because the traffic in Dallas makes him discombobulated. He thinks its going to get me killed I think.
It was so cold that day we couldn't do much. We tried to walk around downtown Mckinney a bit, but whenever you came out from a place where a building blocked the wind, the wind was brutal. We went to the Mom and Popcorn Shop, and bought candy, which I probably shouldn't have had. But oh well. And then Dad said "Well, antique shops are used to people coming in and not buying anything," and so we decided to hang around the antique shops to keep warm.
We made fun of some of them for selling absolute crap, and we looked for poisonous ingredients on bottles of old food and medicine. The last one we went in we spent the most time in. it was huge, but unfortunately the top floor had such a low ceiling that dad couldn't come anywhere near standing up up there. (He's like 6'6" i think?)
They had a ton of really cool old sunglasses and some badass 70's shoes and such. We looked and looked at the sunglasses, but unfortunately all the ones with the really cool green lenses were prescription. But I did get some without green lenses.
Later we went to finish my Christmas shopping so he could bring all the gifts back with him.
The next morning I woke up and found that he was gone. I thought, "He didn't even say goodbye, that bastard." And that would have been par for the course with Dad. He seems to hate saying goodbye. He rarely even says it on the phone. I've always wondered if it goes back tohis tragic childhood, but that's another story.
I stood there slightly dumbfounded, looking for some evidence that he hadn't really left but there was none. I walked through the living room a few times, looking for something that wasn't there and it struck me sickeningly that I hadn't even taken any pictures. I woke Thom up and said, "i think my dad just up and left." "Are you fuckin' serious?" he said.
But it turned out not to be so. He'd just loaded everything in the old VW Fox and went for coffee. And when he came back, I did snap just two bad pictures in the living room, where i'm not even out of my pajamas. The real me. Not the character I play. A rarity in photos these days.
And it struck me, that it is not often that I am living so intently in the moment that I forget to document it. And I don't know what to make of that.
My oldest sister and i have a saying- "You know you had fun if you've got the pictures to prove it." And sometimes the best times we have are taking pictures. And long ago I scrawled a line in my little notebook and remembered it always- "..caught between life and documenting it." It seems sometimes we are more concerned with documenting the experience than experiencing it.
And why I am telling you this now will be aparent at the end of this post.
My dad picked me up at the airport when I got back from NY/NJ. A bit of backstory- I left Illinois in May, and hadn't seen him since then. He had come to Texas, to San Angelo, almost a month ago, to work with my uncle who lives there. Since San Angelo is pretty far from here, we still hadn't seen each other. He fell off of a little cliff down here and got hurt, and then couldn't leave until the doctor decided he didn't need to get the cut in his throat worked on. So then he fianally got to head towards home as I was coming back. He told my mom he didn't recognize me in the airport- I was still in photoshoot hair and makeup.
He was here for a night, and then a day, and then left the next morning. We went out to Mckinney, because the traffic in Dallas makes him discombobulated. He thinks its going to get me killed I think.
It was so cold that day we couldn't do much. We tried to walk around downtown Mckinney a bit, but whenever you came out from a place where a building blocked the wind, the wind was brutal. We went to the Mom and Popcorn Shop, and bought candy, which I probably shouldn't have had. But oh well. And then Dad said "Well, antique shops are used to people coming in and not buying anything," and so we decided to hang around the antique shops to keep warm.
We made fun of some of them for selling absolute crap, and we looked for poisonous ingredients on bottles of old food and medicine. The last one we went in we spent the most time in. it was huge, but unfortunately the top floor had such a low ceiling that dad couldn't come anywhere near standing up up there. (He's like 6'6" i think?)
They had a ton of really cool old sunglasses and some badass 70's shoes and such. We looked and looked at the sunglasses, but unfortunately all the ones with the really cool green lenses were prescription. But I did get some without green lenses.
Later we went to finish my Christmas shopping so he could bring all the gifts back with him.
The next morning I woke up and found that he was gone. I thought, "He didn't even say goodbye, that bastard." And that would have been par for the course with Dad. He seems to hate saying goodbye. He rarely even says it on the phone. I've always wondered if it goes back tohis tragic childhood, but that's another story.
I stood there slightly dumbfounded, looking for some evidence that he hadn't really left but there was none. I walked through the living room a few times, looking for something that wasn't there and it struck me sickeningly that I hadn't even taken any pictures. I woke Thom up and said, "i think my dad just up and left." "Are you fuckin' serious?" he said.
But it turned out not to be so. He'd just loaded everything in the old VW Fox and went for coffee. And when he came back, I did snap just two bad pictures in the living room, where i'm not even out of my pajamas. The real me. Not the character I play. A rarity in photos these days.
And it struck me, that it is not often that I am living so intently in the moment that I forget to document it. And I don't know what to make of that.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Putting alot of miles on the plaid coat..nah this isn't about that at all.
I have been trying to piece together a blog in my head about NJ/NY, and I find I really can't without omiting things or being really long winded. And so I'm going to shut the hell up and do a photo blog.. pictures by me and the point-and-shoot unless noted...
Juicy Couture window... Where can I get a blue greyhound?
Louie V. architecture..
Being cool- its what I do. Photo by Mark Thomason.
Commercialism Wow!
It's hard to be this cool in this many laayers of winter clothes.
Photo by mark Thomason.
Feelin just a bit like Courtney Love in a self taken picture in hair n makeup from one shoot.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
My own little version of carrying my own towel.
The Hitchhiker's Guide recommends that you always carry your own towel. I think there is a bit of wisdom in this. I actually have a blankie, however. And right now I'm glad that I do. I misinterpreted the DFW airport as the sort of place that never slept, and since no one could bring me to the airport in the morning, I went at night.
But no one is working at my gate, so I am stuck in the baggage claim/entrance limbo area. And its cold here. And who knows how long I'll be waiting here. And on an aside, I'm starving and there are only drink vending machines and I think my food diary today (or lack of anything to write down) would impress the hell out of you. But I did find the only outlet in the world and I paid TMobile six bucks for a day of internet, so now- an ode to a fuzzy blankie:
I first got the idea at Back to the Ranch, when there were not enough sheets and blankets to go around and I got stuck sleeping on the floor with a sheet. That night, and the nights following it, I vowed that a blanket was the awesomest thing possible to own and soon I'd have one strictly for traveling.
So I got one. At TJMAxx or Ross. Its kind of brown/grey, almost like our Toyota, but a touch browner. And its sort of a furry velvety chenile. I brought it to the Virgin Islands, and it saved me from total misery on the flights, and was wadded up into a nice ball of a pillow while I was there. I also had it in San Antonio the next weekend, but it didn't get much action. But still. It was there, ever vigilant, in case I needed some warmth, or comfort, or a makeshift photo backdrop, or possibly even a non-traditional garment.
And now here I am, wrapped up in it on the airport floor, likely to go to sleep at any minute. I just hope I don't resort to eating it tonight.
Let it not be said that I am afraid to post unflattering pictures of myself.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Food, Glorious Food! Glorious Food! Or the lack of it..
I think I am making pretty good progress on my getting in shape/skinnier. I haven't really lost any weight, pounds wise, and I so far really haven't lost much off of my main measurements, but my stomach looks alot flatter, and my legs are firmer. Not a dramatic change, but its a start. I did lose half an inch off of my thigh measurement.
So I know, I know, you're reading this going WTF crazy things is this already basically thin chick doing to try to lose weight? So here is a real life confession..
I have been working out twice a day if possible. Generally I do anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour on the treadmill, and weights, and possibly a little bike or eliptical. And squats and such around the house.
And I have been majorly watching what I eat. And keeping track of it. And in the interest of confession, here is a typical day. I am not saying this is the healthiest way to eat, I'm not recommending you eat this way, and I won't keep going like this forever- but for strictly anthropological documentation purposes, here it is:
On Mon Dec 8th I ate:
10 am- bloody Mary with no alcohol, (Virgin mary?) lots of celery
1 pm- instant coffee, a few mini rice cakes, a few craisins
4 pm- a few wedding style after dinner mints
4:30 Starbucks coffee, sugar free syrup (I was waiting for my car to be fixed)
7:45 wheat french bread pizza- I'd estimate about 5 inches of the bread, with pizza sauce, tomatos, and a tiny tiny bit of feta cheese on it
8 pm a few craisins
11:30 brown rice, lettuce, tomatoes and taco chicken with green salsa. It wasn't very good.
I probably had a few more craisins before bed.
Today I am taking sort of a cheat day. It is stressful to keep going thinking this hard about it for weeks on end. So in my estimation, today I had.. coffee with splenda, fresco burrito supreme no beans from taco bell, fruit and yogurt parfait, craisins, 100 cal of popcorn, light yogurt, some rice cakes, and a sugar free jello. I'll prob eat something kind of "normal' if I'm feeling wild.
And my final thought... Yes it is a sacrifice. Alot of people probably wouldn't agree with me trying to lose any fat/weight at all, but I don't really have an issue with it. Its just what I have to do for the job. And although its a pain in the ass, it really is advantageous to me that I have to be really skinny to model. I know that if i'm disciplined and work hard, I can do it. Not everyone can. And it is what I can do that not everyone can that I can get paid for.
Furthermore, when I worked at Denny's, i had to work the smoking section. Was it healthy? No. But you've got to make a living.
So I know, I know, you're reading this going WTF crazy things is this already basically thin chick doing to try to lose weight? So here is a real life confession..
I have been working out twice a day if possible. Generally I do anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour on the treadmill, and weights, and possibly a little bike or eliptical. And squats and such around the house.
And I have been majorly watching what I eat. And keeping track of it. And in the interest of confession, here is a typical day. I am not saying this is the healthiest way to eat, I'm not recommending you eat this way, and I won't keep going like this forever- but for strictly anthropological documentation purposes, here it is:
On Mon Dec 8th I ate:
10 am- bloody Mary with no alcohol, (Virgin mary?) lots of celery
1 pm- instant coffee, a few mini rice cakes, a few craisins
4 pm- a few wedding style after dinner mints
4:30 Starbucks coffee, sugar free syrup (I was waiting for my car to be fixed)
7:45 wheat french bread pizza- I'd estimate about 5 inches of the bread, with pizza sauce, tomatos, and a tiny tiny bit of feta cheese on it
8 pm a few craisins
11:30 brown rice, lettuce, tomatoes and taco chicken with green salsa. It wasn't very good.
I probably had a few more craisins before bed.
Today I am taking sort of a cheat day. It is stressful to keep going thinking this hard about it for weeks on end. So in my estimation, today I had.. coffee with splenda, fresco burrito supreme no beans from taco bell, fruit and yogurt parfait, craisins, 100 cal of popcorn, light yogurt, some rice cakes, and a sugar free jello. I'll prob eat something kind of "normal' if I'm feeling wild.
And my final thought... Yes it is a sacrifice. Alot of people probably wouldn't agree with me trying to lose any fat/weight at all, but I don't really have an issue with it. Its just what I have to do for the job. And although its a pain in the ass, it really is advantageous to me that I have to be really skinny to model. I know that if i'm disciplined and work hard, I can do it. Not everyone can. And it is what I can do that not everyone can that I can get paid for.
Furthermore, when I worked at Denny's, i had to work the smoking section. Was it healthy? No. But you've got to make a living.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Working on New Goals
It's been awhile since I have written. I have been trying to do more strictly fashion test shoots, and trying to get in ridiculous, Heidi Klum-esque shape. For the record, the agency never used the words "lose weight" with me, they told me my legs and belly needed some toning, and they were right. But, I know the score, and I know what I am competing with, and I am trying to lose a little. For better or worse, that is what I need to do to be marketed as a fashion model. But maybe I'll do a blog strictly on that later.
I did two shoots on Saturday. one I got pictures back from already. So here are a few. These were with Manuel Crespo, and the lovely makeup artist Michelle Rodgers.
More of Manuel"s stuff- http://www.modelmayhem.com/665902
More of Michelle's- http://www.modelmayhem.com/674102
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