Behind the scenes for a nerdy shoot..

So despite still hammering away at things the mainstream, agency approved way, I have also been recently interested in portraying my own essence in shoots and self promotion. And to that end, I've been doing some different shoots. In this video I'm setting up to shoot a camped out on the couch Nintendo marathon concept... basically what i did all the time when I lived by myself and playing games was a reclusive activity, as opposed to healing the hell out of Oldsalty in a team effort. :)

week in review..

On Thursday night I'm heading back towards "the smell of wet asphalt, gasoline, and fastfood," but I've (probably not accidentally) filled the week up until then. Yesterday I shot for portfolio most of the useable day, and tonight I have another shoot.

Yesterday's shoot was with Josh McCaghren, who is also a model actually. I am really hoping the pictures are as good as i imagine them to be. It seems like photographers who have been models have a nice attention to the details that matter to models, and he also managed to get me to full on laugh in some shots, despite the fact that I'm notorious for always choosing a serious expression if you let me pick. Turns out all it takes for me to crack up is a fake Brit accent. We did three different looks, the first clean, the second fashion, and the third grungey and involving smoking.

Tonight's shoot is a different sort. I'm not really trying to get anything the agency would be fond of , although I suppose its possible that it happens accidentally. We're going to try to capture a Rolling Stone cover look, and get some gamer themed stuff, and some sexy cool stuff for my self promotion project.

I also recently discovered that Victoria's Secret is having a model contest.. which is the first model contest I have ever heard about that made me say, "That's perfect for me!" Most contests i see i can't imagine myself actually winning, but this one.. well let's just put it this way, i've already storyboarded out my entry video.

In other news, I have restarted my affair with World of Warcraft. I think. Went back to healing, because its good to be a badass. But that's probably another blog entirely.

I've got a new article out for Charisma +2 (an online magazine written by hot girl gamers!) so here it is..
http://www.charismaplus2.com/magazine/OCTOBER09/spellborn.png

...make like Pamela Anderson and exploit myself!

As you may be able to tell from the panel over on the side of my blog, I am starting to sell myself! Or rather, merchandise myself. Zazzle is an awesome website for designing and selling things!

Mine is here: http://www.zazzle.com/rika_h

Alice Delal hair for commitment-phobes!

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Backstage at Oscar Fierro

Backstage at an Oscar Fierro runway show before a Gloria Trevi concert.. and no, we did not actually get any Patron!

Diamonds at Envy

Olesya, Cheryl and I modeled diamonds from Diamond Doctor for an Envy Magazine party at Zaza. We played around alot in between...

What I really do...

I think I just stuck my fingers in Jesus' nail marks..

Good things are happening. I don't want to go into too much detail, because I always feel that when I speak directly and try to describe things I'm excited about, it profanes them. I'm good at bitching in great detail. Not so strong on communicating happy thoughts.

But I am going to succeed now.

My friend Joey (he's made an appearance in at least one post on here I think) always used to tell me "It hasn't happened for you yet because you don't believe. You have to believe." And I would get irritated and think to myself "Shut the fuck up, you don't know what you're talking about. I believe! I belive!"

But then I had a moment the other day while on a job, when a different perspective was revealed to me, and I realized that I did believe in what was going to happen. All the sudden I did believe. It was like suddenly feeling the absense of pains you had gotten used to. I could feel that I really hadn't had faith before. not like this.

Now excuse me while I go tell myself "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough.. and gosh-darn it- people like me."

The point isn't to become a geisha- its to BE a geisha.

I fianally read Memoirs of a Geisha. I tend to have a knack for knowing what books to read at what time in order to read something that will speak to me right at that moment in time... I almost read this several years ago, but I'm glad I didn't. It has some interesting paralells to both my life modeling and my life working in bars that I wouldn't have appreciated before.

Both jobs are somewhat like Sayuri's experience in the book.. the always trying to look impeccable, the need to be a clever conversationalist at the bar- make everyone you talk to buy in to the romance of you, yet do it in a way that things never cross that line.. modelings need to know exactly how to present yourself and yet the imense dependancy on entities outside of yourself..
And my life is like the book in that you have to make intense sacrifices to get to point X, and you need to get to point X so that you can do thing B, but the whole point of doing thing B is to get to point A, which getting to point X takes you farther away from. And even then you want to get to point X, because you don't have any other choice that isnt a bit of a death.

I did feel bad for Nobu though.

this is what i see.. right now as i am standing in the background of a commercial in the austin airport.

i love advertising! i need to shoot something like this.